What’s good guys?

A jack in the box ultimate bacon cheeseburger, sans bun, sandwiched between 2 tacos. hot sauce and ranch aplenty. go ahead and wrap your brain's stomach around that one and then TRY to tell me its not an appropriate answer to this question.

Why is that you guys have a touring bass player and guitarist? Someone in the band not allowed to cross state line perhaps?

Surprisingly no! We don't always, but this last tour we had to for health reasons. Justin's heart tried to kill him (he got a strep infection that moved to his heart, kicking immuno-ass and taking names) and his doctor told him that he needed to play it super safe and super healthy for a while or he'd die. He figured that jamming himself in an air conditioner-less van with 7 other dudes living on a diet of cold Chef Boyardee and warm, sun-ripened beers was probably a no-no.

Ray in the meantime, as of June, has a serious infestation of "baby" at his house. they say its gonna take him a good 18 years before its taken care of and the pest is gone. he named it "Alexis", which I told him was a bad idea cause he'd get all attached, but never listens to me. with him being all nice to it and loving it as he does, I don’t see that its ever gonna leave.

What is the best video game system ever produced? Fuck all that new technology, SNES will always be my shit.

You said it yourself my friend. I will completely ruin your world in Super Mario Cart. I take all challengers. There can be only one!

Aside from the insane beer bong between two vans going 88MPH, what is the craziest shit to ever go down inside the Cross Exam van?

Haha, if I remembered, it wouldn’t have been that crazy, would it?

You guys have played some wild shows, what is the most memorable?

I almost typed "see above" but then I remembered a good one....we played Cedar Falls at this super rad dude "Matt Nasty"'s house. it was a basement show, they made it a costume party, and it was fucking awesome. they had all these mattresses and shit all over the walls so when ya hit the walls moshing and whatnot ya dont get hurt....but they ripped them all off the walls and just started throwing them and jumping off of them and shit. I was buried under like three full size mattresses with a broken mic cable within two songs. Afterwards I picked Cheetos out of my hair for a half hour. Also, Matt Nasty was completely naked the entire time. Shit was epic.

What is the best diner/restaurant/dive that you have visited during your time on the road?

This answer is bittersweet. Last summer we went west coast, and to get there we made an ungodly, horrifying miserable 27 hour straight drive from Des Moines, Iowa to Reno Nevada. Anyway, so just within Utah's state lines we needed gas and stopped at this weird like biker gas station....tiny little hole in the wall type of thing in the middle of nowhere. Anyway, the lady there asked us what we were doing there all the way from Missouri and we told her we were in a band and we were on tour. she got all stoked! Told us she wanted to buy a cd, had all of us sign it, and told us we could grab whatever we wanted, on the house (definitely made everyone feel REALLLLLYY bad about all the shoplifted food that was already lining everyone's pockets, but I digress). Anyway, we went straight for the beer and nachos, of course. The nachos were stellar, but after a handful of beers and no effect whatsoever I became extremely concerned that beer simply did not work on me anymore. Once we hit Reno we were informed by kids at the show of Utah's asinine 3.2% beer laws (all the beer from gas stations there have dramatically less alcohol in them than those in the less god-fearing states.) we ended up throwing the rest of them at people waiting in line outside of the Gwar show down the street, which we then also snuck into.

What are some bands currently kicking your ass?

Ceremony gets weirder and weirder with every album, and I cannot get enough of it, band DESTROYS. Also check out Violator from Brazil, total slayer worship but FASTER. Soooooooooo good.

What is the best food that is a specialty from St. Louis? And when you come to Philly, you must eat some mega fries. Seasoned fries with cheese whiz, mozzarella, and bacon, baked to perfection. Also, it may be hard to find but this place called Little Nicky’s has awesome sandwiches. For instance the Fat Guta is a buffalo chicken cheesesteak with mozzarella sticks, blue cheese, and fries (gotta get the curly jawns though).

St. Louis style pizza is the city's most famous food specialty, but....and my bandmates are going to call me a heretic for saying this....St. louis style is dildos. Its just less of everything! paper thin crust with a thin layer of provel cheese. Being the fat shit that I am I find this completely unacceptable and worship at the altar of Chicago style cheese stuffed holy-fuck-I-can-feel-my-arteries-filling-with-molasses pizza. HOWEVER, St louis rules everyone else's punk asses with TOASTED RAVIOLIS. take ravioli, batter it, and deep fry it. in fact, we deep fry everything we can possibly get our hands on, salute the flag, and thank the lord that we live in the midwest,. my veins ooze fryer grease, haha

How did the comic book “Tales From The Keg” come into being?

Our buddy Jeff "motherfucking" Worm, the greatest and most raddest man to ever put pen to paper, asked us if it was ok if he did a comic book based thematically on our band's stuff. We played it all casual and cool being all like "yeah, sure, I guess, that’s cool man" while in reality we were shitting ourselves in a veritable orgy of comic book nerd bliss. Meantime Clint who runs Organized Crime caught wind and asked us if it was ok if he put it out. We once again were like "yeah, I mean, I guess" while in reality we were all literally so excited that we actually achieved the ability to dance on air. So honestly, we had very little to do with it at all, but are so stoked to exist in comic book form we still can't even think straight.

When will the next installment of “Tales From The Keg” be out because I cannot wait to read about “The Bluntacolypse.”

We are planning on doing a new comic with everything we release from now on, or until Jeff gets tired of doing them. I cannot possibly stress enough how Jeff Worm is the coolest dude ever. Go here: http://www.myspace.com/jeffworm and bask in his glory, haha

By the way, why is the blunt in “The Bluntacolypse” white. Is he supposed to be a ghostly blunt that has risen from the ashtray?

Hahahaha, actually it was just the color confines of a black and white comic, but I like your theory immeasurably better than the real reason, haha

What are some of your favorite gore, horror, slasher films?

Evil Dead 1 and 2, Army of Darkness, Dead Alive, and the more recent and criminally overlooked and underrated "Cabin Fever". Seriously everyone in the world should watch that movie. Its worth it for all the "Boy Meets World" jokes you get to make alone.

Would you say you are a tits man or an ass man? And if you like tits, do you like them big and bouncy or a nice, perky handful? If it’s asses, do you like the ladies draggin’ a wagon or a nice tight rump?

"Swing low, sweet chariots." hahahahahaaaaa

You guys are from St. Louis and it is no secret that you guys love Budweiser. Well, I’m sure you have heard that Bud was bought by InBev. Has there been any cutbacks at the St. Louis plants or is it business as usual?

I have no idea because I hate all current events, politics, news, or basically anything that does not exist in cartoon form and now that I got a DVR I can even fast forward through what little news I used to get from the little local news bumps during commercial breaks. Frankly, the U.S. could be invaded by aliens and I'd have no idea unless they animated the news report and played it during adult swim, haha.

And speaking of beer, what is your go to 40oz?

Mickey's is law. ALTHOUGH, the beastie boys were right about the brass monkey. Get Colt 45, drink it down to the top of the label, refill with orange juice, mix it around a little, and you got a vitamin c kick that'll leave ya waking up in places you don’t recognize, haha

What is your favorite blunt to roll with; Phillies, Dutchies, White Owl’s, Game’s, etc,.? Also what flavor do you prefer? I love the Phillies because that’s what I started with but the peach White Owl’s are the truth.

Having polled the guys, Phillies won by unanimous landslide, though for the most part everyone concurred that as long as they got weed in 'em, aint no one complaining, heh

What does the future hold for Cross Examination?

If history serves as a guide, unending, spiraling debt, vans that explode constantly, and more of the most fun and raddest fucking times of our entire lives.

Good looking on doing this fucker. If you have any shout outs, shit to get off your chest, let the shit fly!

Thanks for the interview! Also, I do have something to get off my chest. Whoever decided its cool to make rappers nowadays sing with that stupid robot effect on their voice should be shot on sight. and in conclusion, hey hey hey-e-ayee.................................................. ...........................smoke weed every day!